My fear of blogging + Q&A

Can I be completely honest with you? I have a fear of blogging. I aspire to be some awesome blogger sharing amazing content, with beautiful photos, blah, blah, blah. That's not me, at least not now. The main reason I don't blog often (or ever) is because I don't think that others will want to read about my life. It seems pretty silly when I write it out, but it's the truth. I live a pretty average life; I work 40 hours a week, hang out with friends occasionally, go to church, spend time with my husband and cat, and that's about it. I'm not one of those bloggers that travels all over the world or has super exciting stories to tell, so why would someone like you want to read about my life? 

I haven't fully worked through this yet, but I decided to put a few posts out on the interweb to challenge my fear. This year, I am working on being more open and vulnerable with those around me and this is just one avenue that I can challenge myself in. I'm learning that there is strength in numbers and that sharing your life with others is a beautiful thing - no matter how boring or mundane I might think mine is. Honestly, my favorite blogs to read are those where they just share about their life. Not the travel blogs or the ones promoting all sorts of brands. The ones that are honest and real; the ones that share their hard struggles; ones that don't have perfect pictures or the perfectly worded posts. Those are my favorites and I hope that my little space on the internet can be the same. .

If you do read on, please enjoy a Q & A about the faces behind this blog - Mr. + Mrs. Groves (and our kitty). Also, it's more fun to read this with the knowledge that these questions were answered separately and we did not influence each other.

What has been your most memorable date?

Colton: Does the proposal count?

Ashley: The day he proposed to me. It started off with him planning a scavenger hunt for me that took me to some of our favorite coffee shops around the Salt Lake valley and ended with dinner at a nice restaurant, ice skating, and a beautiful sparkly ring on my finger. I don’t think any date can top that one!

What is your best marriage advice?

Colton: Fight naked. Don't go to bed angry. Be honest and transparent. Let Jesus meet your deepest needs instead of expecting your spouse to. this way you can bless them instead of having false expectations of them. Go into marriage with the expectation that divorce is not an option. That way you both have ultimate security in your relationship. If divorce is an option then don't get married. it's the little things that matter in the relationship more than a grandiose, every-once-in-a-while thing.

Ashley: I honestly cannot choose just one piece of advice, so here are my top two. 1. Marry someone who is equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14), meaning, you both are Bible believers. 2. Make divorce NOT an option. First off, the Bible says to not divorce your spouse and secondly, it adds so much security to your marriage.

How many kids do you want and what genders?

Colton: Two-three. Two would be ideal with one of each.

Ashley: Two; a girl and a boy, although I’d be okay with two girls, no offense boys. ;) 

When are you having babies?

 Colton: One year, that's what we agreed on. 

Ashley: Colton so willingly agreed that we could start trying around when he graduates (June 2019). In the meantime, my kitten is my baby!

Biggest fear about having kids?

Colton: That I'll break them or that I won't be a good dad because I don't have practice. 

Ashley: That I won’t be able to manage everything; kids, housework, being a wife, ministry, sleep, etc.

Will you be staying in Portland or moving back to Utah?

Colton: It depends on jobs but as of right now we've talked about staying in Portland. 

 Ashley: Most definitely Portland. It's amazing here!

When are you buying a house?

 Colton: I can tell you what we talked about or I can tell you what I feel. I feel it would be smart to wait five years, but I compromised with at least two. 

Ashley: Colton had to give me a reality check a few weeks ago and it was so dang hard to hear. We are going to proactively save up for the next two years and then see if we are in a position to buy.

What does your dream life look like?

Colton: I'm living it right now. Sure, I might not have the most expensive, or exotic car that I used to think I needed and I don't have all the money in the world. I also mess up often, I’m not a licensed architect, yet, and I don't have kids yet or am in my dream house, but I'm with the love of my life and I'm making memories each day with her. I have good health, a wonderful family and in-laws, and I have a close relationship with the Lord. 

Ashley: Being a stay at home mama to a beautiful child (or two); snuggling my fur babies; taking/teaching Barre classes; having friends over for coffee and to talk about Jesus while watching our little ones play.

 Who hogs the bed?

Colton: Ashley does, but she would tell you that I do.

Ashley: Colton hogs the bed AND the blankets, although, I will admit that for some reason I hog the sheet? It always ends up on my side! This is a hot topic in our marriage and we’ve even had discussions about where the middle of our bed is and what is his side and what is mine.

Favorite TV show you watch together? 

Colton: Stranger Things and Vampire Diaries because we both talked a lot about it and were always excited about the next episode. 

Ashley: There’s so many good ones to choose from. Right now I really enjoy watching Santa Clarita Diet together.

Most embarrassing thing that happened to you in the last week?

 Colton: At small group I farted while I was laughing. As far as I'm aware, nobody heard including Ashley. She would definitely let me know if she heard it. 

Ashley: Someone walked in on me while I was in the bathroom…and I was on my phone. Ugh.

What is a little thing your spouse does for you that you appreciate?

Colton: She respects me and my time by letting me play video games with my friends. She also understands the season that we are in, with me being busy with school and not having as much free time. Also, she cooks delicious meals and packs my lunches.

Ashley: He is always willing to pray for me when I am feeling down.

What is one thing your spouse does that drives you crazy?

Colton: When she puts my stuff in a pile. I understand why she does it, but my stuff gets more displaced because I don’t want to deal with finding something in a pile that I haven’t created myself.

Ashley: Leaving piles of stuff around the house!

What about your spouse makes you proud?

Colton: That you are the “bread winner” for us! Haha. You got this job that isn’t even in your field, but it helps us out a lot. I’m also proud of how you’re overcoming your anxiety.

Ashley: That he goes after his dreams day-in and day-out without complaining and that he wants to have a good education so he can provide for our future family. 

What is God teaching you in this season of your life?

Colton: God is teaching me about being grateful for my trials, because it helps me rely on him more. Nobody thinks they need God when everything is going their way. I've also been studying a really good sermon series on 1 Peter, in the Bible App, hosted by Life.Church, called Different. It is about how Christians are called to be different and it shows how Peter went through one of the most terrible trials by blaspheming against God when Jesus was being crucified. He did this not just once, but three times. This is considered a sin that is unforgivable, BUT, what's cool is when Jesus rose from the dead, the angel specifically said go tell the disciples AND PETER. Meaning, that Peter was still included, despite his sin. It is an encouraging reminder that when I am in my darkest moments and I think I have committed the worst sin, Peter also felt that way, yet was reconciled with God. God loves us unconditionally and his death on the cross covers all of our sin, no matter how bad we think we are.

Ashley: Not to fear. I have allowed so much fear into my life which only increases my anxiety. He is teaching me that fear does not come from him (2 Timothy 1:7) and that I have the ability to WIN my battles every single day (Read: Stronger Than the Struggle). He has also taken me on a journey to be vulnerable with others and share the things that I struggle with.

Here's to pushing past what other people think of me and to not caring if anybody reads this. If you are one of the few who read this, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. It truly means the world to me! I'd love to hear your answer to one of the questions in the comments below. XOXO!

- Colton and Ashley

P.S. Check out Diana Gula's website if you have any photography needs! Her and her husband were so fund to hang out with!